A Taiwanese man recently suffered what many men might deem a fate worse than death. When sitting down on a toilet at his home in rural Taiwan, a snake bit his penis, Reuters reports.
The snake was hiding in the toilet and struck the man as he sat down. The report goes on to say he was then taken to the hospital, where he was being treated for “minor injuries.”
Minor injuries? Since when does a snake biting your penis constitute a minor injury?
Since when does a snake biting your penis constitute a minor injury?Apparently, the chief concern was infection. "As soon as he has passed the risk of infection, he can go," Reuters quotes a director at the hospital as saying. "A snake's mouth isn't always clean."
As cringe-inducing as this story is, my first thought upon reading it was, “If this happened to me, what would I tell my boss when I called in sick to work the next day?” Can you imagine the doctor’s note necessary to substantiate such a claim?
“To whom it may concern: Mr. Hart was unable to attend work yesterday due to a toilet-related injury sustained when a snake hiding in the bowl jumped up and bit him – right in the penis. As you may know, a snake’s mouth isn’t always clean, and we needed to monitor Mr. Hart (and his injured penis) until we were confident he was not in danger of developing a penile infection.
Sincerely,
Dr. John Thomas
P.S.: Your organization may benefit from distributing a pamphlet I am sending back with Mr. Hart, entitled ‘Basic toilet safety 101: look down before you sit down.’ “ [Reuters]Branden Hart, TheSequitur.com's managing editor, works as an editor in San Antonio.
Amidst accusations by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad against Israel of running a "cruel and racist regime," according to CBC, many Western delegates walked out of his speech at a United Nations-sponsored summit in Geneva. Ahmadinejad also accused the United States and Europe of trying to destabilize the world.
One can only smirk at the irony of the Iranian president's word in contrast to his prior rhetoric on the Jews, Israel and the Holocaust, not to mention the less-than stellar reputation his nation has for civil rights. For those who may have forgotten, he has engaged in traditional anti-Semitism, has declared that Israel be completely destroyed and denies that the Holocaust ever happened; back home, people are still stoned to death for what often amount in Western society to petty crimes. I guess it takes one to know one.
[CBC]
Adam Dubbin, TheSequitur.com's assistant managing editor, is a second year doctoral student in audiology at the University of South Florida.
Bowing to international criticism on its human rights record, China released a two-year plan to improve issues like torture and improve access to education and social services for people living in the communist country.
The document outlines rights and guarantees including a right to work, rights to detainees and personal rights. It guarantees civil and political rights, and officials also will closely examine death penalty cases.
The document outlines rights and guarantees including a right to work, rights to detainees and personal rights.Other highlights in the document include, “the state prohibits the extortion of confessions by torture,” and “prohibits illegal detention by law enforcement personnel.”
China also joined “25 international conventions on human rights.” The country vows to publish timely reports and keep an open dialog with those groups.
All of this is because the country has "entered the stage of building a moderately prosperous society in an all-round way," and “socialist modernization” is going along faster than expected. [China.org]Jared Leone, a TheSequitur.com senior editor, is a writer in the Tampa Bay area.
After a Polish zoo bought a male elephant that seems to enjoy the company of other males rather than females, Michal Grzes, a conservative councilor in the city of Poznan in western Poland, is clearly upset with the acquisition.
"We didn't pay 37 million zlotys ($11 million) for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there," Reuters quotes Grzes as saying.
The elephant, however, is only 10 years old, and Reuters reports that the head of the Poznan zoo, where the elephant lives, said that elephants do not reach sexual maturity until the age of 14.
Aside from giving me the idea to open a strip club in Poland called “Slutties for Zlotys,” this story begs the question, “Why would politicians get so upset over gay animals?” I really don’t have an answer. Perhaps we should ask all the senators, representatives and other politicians in our own nation who do not support gay marriage. [Reuters] Branden Hart, TheSequitur.com's managing editor, works as an editor in San Antonio.
At the G-20 Summit this past week in London, world leaders agreed upon a $1 trillion package to tackle the global economic crisis, though other highlights of the meeting also drew the world’s attention and criticism.
The controversy arose after a reception in Buckingham Palace...For instance, when Michelle Obama put her arm around the untouchable Queen Elizabeth II, it caused a sensation in the American and, especially, British media.
The controversy arose after a reception in Buckingham Palace, when the First Lady slipped her arm around the Queen. The Queen reciprocated.
According to so-called protocol, touching the Queen is prohibited, although Her Majesty can touch her guests. Times Online, the Telegraph and other British media outlets seemed to be bothered by the breach. However, CNN's Richard Quest, an Englishman, reports that there isn't any protocol at all for leaders meeting with British monarchs. Additionally, a spokesman for Buckingham Palace explained, "It was a mutual and spontaneous display of affection ... We don't issue instructions on not touching the Queen," according to Time.
Another remarkable scene was recorded by BBC: President Obama praised Brazilian President Luis Inácio Lula da Silva before a meeting, saying, “He is my man! I love this guy! He’s the most popular politician on Earth.” He continued, “This is because he’s good looking”.
Whether Obama loves Lula or Lula truly is the most popular president on Earth is hard to know, but “good looking”? Watch the video and decide for yourself. [Times Online, Telegraph, CNN, BBC]Thiago Mattos, a TheSequitur.com Editorial Board member-at-large and a journalism student in Brazil, writes about Brazilian and world issues in his blog, Sangue de Barata.
Prior to the G-20 summit to be held in the London starting Apr. 2, 2009, the Obamas met with Queen Elizabeth II and her husband Prince Philip the day before for a little meet-and-greet. Even heads of state – or perhaps especially heads of state – must observe the rules of proper etiquette when visiting London, you see.
And as we all know, etiquette means one thing: giving presents to the Queen!
The Queen and her prince presented the Obamas with a signed portrait of themselves, as the Obamas gave her a personalized iPod with video footage of her majesty already on it, according to the Associated Press. Apparently, the rule is, when visiting the Queen of England, everything has to have her face on it.
Here are a few ideas of other gifts I hope the Obamas will consider next time:
–A portrait of the Queen and Prince, signed by Michael Jordan (very expensive).
–A portrait of the Obamas with Elizabeth’s and Philip’s heads photoshopped on – hers on Barack’s body and his on Michelle’s.
–The negatives of the naked photos J. Edgar Hoover had taken “for national security reasons” of the Queen back when she was a princess.
–Another corgi, of which the Queen already has several – but this one looks exactly like her!
–Hm…well, when you can’t think of anything, just give cash. Good thing her face fronts all of Britain’s pound-sterling banknotes.
[AP]Jeff Dubbinis a TheSequitur.com senior editor.
Around the world, women are under the microscope. But men's behavior also is scrutinized in these studies.
A study by Dr. Michael Dunn of the University of Wales Institute in Cardiff shows that men are more interested in a woman's curves than that of the car she is driving. On the other hand, women were more interested in the same man when he was behind the wheel of a Bentley Continental rather than a Ford Fiesta.
“Females focus on questions of wealth and status because if the male possesses those, that male would be in a better condition to rear healthy offspring," Dunn said.
The other study, released by the Archives of Sexual Behavior, the official publication of the International Academy of Sex Research, claims men stare into the eyes of women they find attractive longer than they leer into less-attractive women's eyes.
The Global War on Terror is at an end, at least in name.
According to the Washington Post, the Obama administration is not using the term "Global War on Terror" but prefers "Overseas Contingency Operation." The nominal change was included in a memo sent via e-mail to top Pentagon staff.
Supposedly the root of the change came from the Office of Management and Budget. Their spokesman denies it.
"There was no memo, no guidance," said Kenneth Baer, an OMB spokesman. "This is the opinion of a career civil servant."
However, the new term has been used in the last month by top administrators. [Washington Post]
Jared Leone, a TheSequitur.com senior editor, is a writer in the Tampa Bay area.
Population booms, economic growth and climate change are factors affecting the world water supply, according to a report unveiled at the 5th World Water Forum in Istanbul.
The report was released during the first day of the conference and was written by members of UN-Water, the United Nations water agency, during the 3rd World Water Forum. The goal of the World Water Forum is to put water on the global agenda. More than 28,000 people are at this year's event.
Water knows no boundary, and the group said inaction is no longer an option.
“Water must be given a high priority on the development agenda; this report sounds an alarm that if water consumption behaviors do not change, the world will face serious water crises,” said Koїchiro Matsuura, Director-General of the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Culture Organization.
Detractors also were active. Reuters reports that 17 protesters were detained by Turkish police, who fired teargas to break up a group of 100.
The group shouted: “water for life, not for profit.” [WWF5, Reuters]Jared Leone, a TheSequitur.com senior editor, is a writer in the Tampa Bay area.
That is, after 30 tons of oil spewed from a cargo ship.
According to the Queensland Government press release, the cargo ship Pacific Adventurer was headed to Indonesia when it was caught in a cyclone off the coast of Cape Moreton. Shipping containers carrying nitrates for fertilizer broke loose and fell overboard. This caused damage to the ship, spilling a large amount of oil off the coast.
“I’m advised that it appears the volume of oil involved is much greater than originally reported by the Pacific Adventurer,” Bligh said in the second press release. “And the effect of the oil spill is more widespread.”
Morning Coffee is a collection of top-fold news, oddities, observations and wisecracks, peppered with financial advice, movie reviews and more, gathered by TheSequitur.com contributors and the editors of the magazine's Nation, World, Culture and Progress sections.
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